For a few minutes he told the hyenas about his frailties. Madame, a young multi-celebrated artist in the last year and returning from Sanremo with the song “Voce”, she was co-host of an episode of the program alongside Nicola Savino. And in a monologue he explained with an open heart the hidden sides – and perhaps for this reason, truer – of Francesca Calearo. The one he suffered from anxiety and who has only recently emerged from a personal crisis: «Tonight I want to talk to you about something that, until a few months ago, I did not have: self-esteem. Self-esteem is loving yourself. Understanding oneself, accepting oneself. Forgive yourself. We must learn to love all of us. Even the worst parts. Those that make us suffer and we would like to change. But if we try to change them by hating who we are, we make a mess we break everything up ».
Madame: “Anxiolytics like water, I was terribly ill”
“The lack of self-esteem is an ugly beast – he continued looking in the room -. If you don’t have it, you feel like you’re worthless. Last year I was a guest at X Factor twice. Before going on stage I was alone in the dressing room. I was crying desperately: “What am I doing here?”, “I don’t deserve it”. I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t love myself. The truth is I’ve been shit for years. Also in Sanremo, and with the debut album coming out. I was sick. All time. I took anxiolytics like they were water. Stomach closed. I didn’t eat. I was not sleeping. It was a vicious circle. I said: “But the fuck!” “Why do I always have to stay like this?”. At one point it got even worse. Suddenly everything in my life was empty. Without a sense. My mother. My home. My dog. The music. I asked people: “Can you tell me what meaning you give to your life?” Alone I could no longer understand it. It was horrible. An excruciating pain ».
But when she hit rock bottom, she was reborn: «At that moment I wrote one of my most beautiful phrases:“ I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of wanting to die ”. Then I said to myself: enough. You can’t go on like this. I started working every day to find meaning. I looked at the anxiety that had always accompanied me in the face. And I found a way to eliminate it. I said to myself: “Sooner or later you will suffer, but you must not be afraid. Because if you suffer, you will heal yourself. And if you don’t, you will die. And do you know what it is? That everyone, sooner or later, dies ”. We cannot ruin our lives because we are afraid of suffering. Or to die. It’s a huge shit. For me, understanding it was a liberation. I learned not to be a slave to haste, to enjoy the silence, the darkness. I have learned to to breathe. To accept the things that happen without me being able to control them. To accept me. If you had met me a year ago, you would have said: shit, this is serious. Now I have settled down. I found meaning in love. And I respect myself because I know how to understand, accept and love me. I mean, I’m fine. And even if I have not found the cure for being sick, I have cured the fear of being sick ».
Last updated: Wednesday 3 November 2021, 09:46
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Madame and anxiety: «I used to take anxiolytics like water. Even in Sanremo I felt terrible ”